Organised Fun

Something suspicious is happening with Blueberry Brewery's delivery trucks - the only solution is to follow them and see what secrets can be uncovered...

As our heroes continue to investigate the strange goings on, they discover that the local beer might contain a secret ingredient...

Two misfit forces duke it out for control of various pop culture locations, but will the Luchador Mounties emerge victorious, or will the Musketeer Samurais beat them to it? Highlights include:
- A few too many fonts for Mark
- There's a lot of Literacy and Numeracy
- It needs a good tracking system
- We actually didn't need to smash at all...
- Cthulhu is the slag of the board game world
- 69, lol

It's the morning after Brewers' Day and our heroes are feeling the effects of the town's celebrations...
- Why is Melissa so upset?
- What will Jerry do about all these caravans?
- What does Sheriff Blunt want with Sean?
- What will Tyler discover in the town records?

We're exploring even more of the 'verse as our escapades take us into the depths of Rim Space! Highlights include:
- Mark is now officially in charge of the game reminders...
- It's all gone a bit planespherial!
- I found a loophole in the rules, which is totally fine considering the criminal nature of the game...
- The reavers can spread their shit all over the galaxy...
- Lockdown 2 threatens to spoil our fun...

Welcome to Bluesburg - just an ordinary town somewhere in America, founded by brewing partners Charles Berry and Jacques LeBleu.
Five years ago, tragedy struck, with the brewery burning to the ground and taking the life of LeBleu's descendant, Lucien. Berry's heir, Daniel was left to set up a new brewery alone.
Some people believe the fire was no accident, whilst others are convinced that the secret ingredient of Blueberry Ale isn't blueberries.
As the townsfolk gather for the annual Brewers' Day celebrations, will the town's secrets be revealed?

Grab your bike and your backpack - there's something mysterious going on in the town of Bluesburg, but what? Highlights include:
- Everyone gets to tell the story!
- Patrick decides to stay at home and avoid as much of the adventure as possible
- Bunty channels her inner brutish jock (she swears of her own accord and everything!)
- Experience a myriad of questionable accents
- Congratulations, you've won a dead fiance
- Many of the buildings in Bluesburg don't have toilets
- Bunty forgets who she is

Puns and stickmen collide in this quick little card game! Highlights include:
- Mark was joint first for a week!
- Huge Roman Penis!
- Mark misunderstands the FRAG system. Has he been doing it wrong all along?
- I'm cooking dinner, here you go
- Introducing Cards Of Humanities, the History/Geography/RE game

An alien world has been plagued by exploding worms and is extremely close to falling apart completely - instead of evacuating the hell out of there, we've decided it's the perfect arena for a scrap! Highlights include:
- Mark claims not to remember Cthulhu Wars at all
- This is the Duplo to Risk's Lego
- Arrgh! It's a Poltergash!
- It seems a bit haberdashery
- Mark is the messiah of Kickstarter - bring him a game and he can instantly tell where it came from

Like Jurassic Park or the Vengaboys, we're going back to the island - we just can't keep away! What new tricks and traps await us when the Last Adventurer gets involved? Highlights include:
- The eagerly anticipated results of the Board Game Boardroom are announced
- It's basically Indiana Jones
- A honey pot is worth more than a purple gemstone
- Better cards this time round

We've been on Zoom, having a very important meeting. Six hopeful game enthusiasts; six boardgame pitches, but who will get the coveted listeners' vote? Highlights include:
- Dodgy connections and sound quality (sorry!)
- Clarten O'Malley, wanted dead or alive...
- Resistance gets mentioned/ripped off a lot this week
- If you don't have 8 friends, it's not for you
- Have you recently been sold PPI? If so, you will die in seven days...
- Matt wants £500,000 and some good lawyers, for 12%
- Everyone closes their eyes and gets felt up
- Jane Austen would definitely not allow incest
- Women in regency England are generally no good against zombies
- VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

As if the island wasn't dangerous enough with a bloody great volcano, now the wildlife is attacking! Highlights include:
- Mark can't remember what colour he is
- The punishment for getting stung should be way more harsh
- Bee related tangent!
- It relies on people falling over
- Mark is desperate for a leopard print marble

Dr Black has been... sacrificed? Monsters and cultists are running amok in the mansion? Mrs Peacock is armed with brass knuckles?? Something wicked has come to Cluedo.... well, more wicked than your average murder anyway! Highlights include:
- There's absolutely nothing funny about 'Peacock'
- Some rooms are obviously better than others
- We have a whole section dedicated to illiteracy
- What is a conservatory?
- Slaves don't brighten the place up
- If you're not wearing the correct mask, you might as well leave
- Nibbles? Yes please!
- Have you ever played Clarten?
- We make a life long enemy in the Lizard Man - who even invited him anyway?
- It was Mrs Wipe with the Sage
- What games can we add Hitler to?

We start Year 3 by going back 5 thousand years to Ancient Egypt to play a game of Senet! Highlights include:
- Mark gets hate mail
- Which game would you be buried with then?
- You just need to get your counters off
- There are degrees of boppage
- Was it found in a tomb, or a bin?
- I forgot my extensive kiln research

Happy birthday to us! Here we have our round up of all the bants from the past 12 months! Highlights include:
- Superman clocks in some listens
- Mark is literally aflame with suggestions for the future
- Who is your favourite Fred?
- Mark manages to forget most of what happened last year
- I feel sorry for people with small game collections
- Follow us on Twitter, yeah? @FunOrganised
- Real Money Monopoly has literally changed Sarah's life!

The apocalypse has literally just happened - what are you going to do? What have you got on you right now that can help? Our brave team must answer these questions and more as they attempt to survive the end of the world! Highlights include:
- My apologies to the Kingdom of Ur
- You're not a dwarf with a magical axe
- Mark claims he tried to predict what challenges he would face, but gave himself no physical strength
- Charisma is overrated
- I'm a complete potato with no redeeming qualities
- In the apocalypse, nobody's expecting you to queue up and pay
- Everyone's got the covid!
- Would the final boss be tempted by a Greggs loyalty card? Would it be distracted by dancing? Does it have eyes?
- Driving through shop doorways is not what cars are designed for
- When your charisma fails, threaten them with scissors
- Tyler the med student doesn't have dexterity, he's practically covid and he's almost dead
- The goggle cupboard yieldeth no goggles
- Patrick has a PhD in walls
- To torch or not to torch?
- Would you want your android to be more of a Bishop or an Ash?
- Covid-19 changed the rules!
- The game is only as good as its players

2500BC, in a royal tomb in the land of Ur, they were having a right old game night. But is their banter any good nowadays? Highlights include:
- A hexagon is not a pyramid
- The whole of Iraq is not buried in one tomb
- 2005 is pretty ancient, to be fair
- Anyone can get some shitty beads

We continue our journey through the ancient games with another layover in ancient Rome - careful though, don't get caught by the gambling police! Highlights include:
- The second century BC is when shit got real
- Casting sticks!!!!
- Sorry Copper, this is my gambling mirror
- Remember kids, just say no to casting sticks
- We need to work on the ending script...

We whip our little soldiers out for some ancient Roman tactics! Highlights include:
- Mark seems outraged by the idea of a sea snail
- Follow us on Twitter! @FunOrganised
- Which two games would you mash up?
- Fuck you, it's my dux

We've jumped in the time machine once more, travelling to ancient China to play Go! Highlights include:
- More crimes added to the rap sheet
- Mulan is the only Chinese person we know
- We're programmed to be in boxes
- Activate the Mulan Manoeuvre!
- Is it a game, or a type of shell?

After making the rules perfectly clear for how gamers should behave, it's time for the sequel! Find out what our top no-nos are for board game creators! Highlights include:
- It's not difficult is it?
- If something's expensive, it should be made properly
- I know nothing about board game production and distribution
- What's more important, a house deposit or a Wario figurine?
- What gets on your tits then?

Earning a living in the depths of space is hard enough, but now there's added bastardry as pirates and bounty hunters make an appearance! Highlights include:
- I can't even remember what last week's game was
- You can't hear a nod
- More universe is in the coronamail

Well we did it. We took the worst game we've played so far, and we added magic. But is it enough to change our damning opinion? Highlights include:
- Mark has no idea what he is
- No one needs musical chess
- Well done, box people
- My pixie was shit...
- Mark is on font-watch again
- A selling point is the 'great looking rulebook'
- It's gone up in the rankings, but only because of the lovely box

Two teams of X-Men duke it out by rolling dice! Who will be victorious? Highlights include:
- Dice Towers = pointless but weirdly satisfying
- Hope Summers gets another look in
- How many millilitres is your dice?
- It's one of the worst rulebooks I've ever read
- It's all the same font though, so that's ok
- Purple = Green
- Who is Donald Pierce?
- 8 damage? Fucking Wolverine innit
- It's not all fun and rainbows. There is hardship. There is death

We go back in time to play the Ancient Egyptian game of Dogs and Jackals! Highlights include:
- Did they have dogs in Egypt?
- Howard Carter did not give me this game
- Next time, we'll make casting sticks
- If you get one off first, you've won
- If you're stuck in a forest, you could make this and have some fun
- What the hell is a jackal crow?
- Ginger would have loved it

We assemble a group of superheroes to tackle a villain's nefarious plot and hopefully save the world! All in card form! Highlights include:
- This is the Legendary that started it all
- It's all about rescuing prostitutes - they're super grateful
- Mark's Marvel knowledge has some alarming gaps... as does mine, apparently
- Fuck you and your charity centre
- Mark doesn't care about keywords

We all know them, we all ARE them! This week we talk about the different types of boardgamers out there. Highlights include:
- Once again, Mark forgets key elements of last week's episode
- Am I a control freak?
- No one likes a Rebel
- Pardon me, I'm holding a judge
- Does Mark understand how a pie chart works?

It's a brief flit through the history of board games this week! Highlights include:
- We totally butcher the intro
- We FRAG, they CRDL!
- The Victorians probably made good games because there was nothing else to do
- First you need to train as a therapist, then you have to train as a Dungeon Master
- Mark is a secret Magic: The Gathering aficionado 
- It's Monopoly Voice Changer - Now you can sound like a woman
- The next big leap is obviously magic
- Let's all play Picturgories

This week, Bunty has set a challenge to create a game that can be played in lockdown over skype or zoom or some such... Hear how our efforts went! Highlights include:
- Is it brilliant or not? You decide!
- There's an inspiring use of diagonals
- I didn't cheat!
- Have I caught you? What about now? Have I caught you now?
- Where the hell is anyone?
- When exactly will Mark make his own game?

Your body is your battleground as various afflictions war to destroy your opponent's organs! Sounds grim, right? Highlights include:
- It's the 'family friendly game of organ harvesting'
- Look, I'm learning!
- Is that your spleen, or a potato?

Carrot! Fire! Eyeball! Zebra! What the hell are we doing? Have we gone isolation crazy? No, we're just playing Dobble! Highlights include:
- You might as well call me Alan Sugar, because this week there's loads of business!
- I temporarily forget Carrie Fisher
- Lockdown is prime board game time!
- Mark has to be literally forced into promoting his new podcast
- It's a game and a history lesson
- SCIENCE!
- Of course an apple and a tree look nothing alike
- Mark says 'It looks very 90s' like that's a bad thing

There's been a high profile murder, and crime is generally on the increase in Commonville. Luckily, the city's finest officers are on the case, but can we catch the murderer before things get out of hand? Highlights include:
- Oh my God, it's June!!!
- What's your ideal amount of fonts?
- Everyone in Commonville is kind of ugly
- Before you know it, the whole board is covered in shit
- Who brings a dog to a coffee shop??
- Who owns the police?
- Are you a corrupt cop, or are you just shit?

How important are awards? What would you award a game for? Highlights include:
- Every time you roll the dice, you have to say 'Yeehah!'
- We're going to the UK Games Expo!
- Mark has amazing mind powers
- How do you get Diana Joiner out of Indiana Jones?

Amanda joins us on a dice rolling trip to planet Mobius, to see who can construct the best Sonic The Hedgehog level... but will the maths be too much? Highlights include:
- Mark can't remember who he is
- It's just a bit of religious banter
- Mario had a raccoon tail when Sonic came on the scene
- Amanda does a Mark
- Nobody wants a spike pit
- I explain simple words as if people have never heard them before
- Lady Dice!

We venture back beneath the looming shadow of Vul Kar, and this time we've discovered a wrecked pirate ship! What new treasures await us on board the Crimson Cutlass? Highlights include:
- Mark keeps laughing for absolutely no reason
- Do you actually need to go there?
- Mark can't remember if there was a pirate ship last time
- Where's Monkey Island?

We definitely did not save the best 'til last, but just how bad was it? Highlights include:
- To be fair, it does have a dragon in a dungeon
- It could have been called 'Fantasy Shit Quest'
- The dragons have chins
- The dwarf and the elf literally do nothing - struggling to remember if they even had names
- Mark's only thoughts on the Empress are all about her outfit
- Are red dragons somehow better than gold dragons? What about green dragons... or chin dragons?
- It would have been very different if it was Thora Hird on the back of a dragon
- And at the end, they all whoosh off straight to video
- The world just wasn't ready for a Dungeons and Dragons movie

Our second Moviesode takes us to the 80s murder mystery movie, Clue! Who did it, where and with what? Highlights include:
- How much research do you think Rihanna did for Battleship?
- We go to great lengths to explain how the Cluedo cards work
- No colours!
- Mrs Peacock = silly shrieking bitch
- Everyone was grabbing everyone's arses
- 90% shouting
- If you're not one of the main six characters, you're going to die
- The Communism was a red herring, apparently

It's our first ever Moviesode!  This week, we take to the waves, saving the world from aliens and that! Highlights include:
- New jingles!
- If you're trying to invade the earth, don't land in the middle of the Navy's training games...
- Suddenly, there's Rihanna
- The epic battle of person vs purple
- Do you pilot a ship? Captain it? Drive it?
- Do you want to see Rihanna shooting a gun? On a boat?
- Let's write a script for these boats
- Mark gets his Jim Carrey movies mixed up
- Mark claims to have not played Mage Wars... but we did an episode on it!
- Goblet of Fire is basically the Hunger Games with wizards

It's a card throwing, Meeple killing, fiery, burny toss-fest! Highlights include:
- I play with strangers
- Did we mention that the table is lava?
- Get in the fire!

We're in a submarine navigating the depths of the Oniverse… quite literally. Will we make it to the abyss before the forces of evil take over the Happy Island? Highlights include:
- So many sirens!
- It's not a lighthouse, it's a darkhouse
- Shadi doesn't know when to stop
- We couldn't even do the beginner's game
- It's a dice game... with only three dice

A team of psychics, and a ghost desperately trying to communicate the details of their demise. Success depends on our interpretation of bizarre visions... oh dear! Highlights include:
- Do they have rabbits in America?
- We get some background music...
- Is that a sweet or a mushroom?
- Am I just a really shit ghost?
- Mark misunderstands the phrase 'catching up'
 

The Telmarines are invading and the only hope is to get to the fabled horn of Queen Susan and give it a quick blast. For some reason, we are competing to do this because, you know, having a winner is more important than saving Narnia! Highlights include:
- Another week, another fluffed intro
- Mark pauses in all the wrong places
- Where's the wardrobe?
- Nikabrik looks like Rasputin
- You have to blow the horn to make people come
- Do you feel enlightened?
- Prince Caspian and Jesus - completely interchangeable
- It's a game and a lesson all in one
- Do Americans have wardrobes?
- Mark prioritises font above all things
- Justice for The Silver Chair

Who knew saving endangered species could be as simple as rolling a few dice? But obviously the important thing is who can rescue the most! Highlights include:
- A simple concept requires far too much explanation, and eventually, models
- Mark is in charge this week!
- Featuring 'Not Greta Thunberg'
- We butcher the names of various endangered animals
- You can't expect your average 8 year old to know the classifications of endangered animals
- Look out for the Pig Nosed Pockety

There's been an increase in dark magic around, so me and Mark are practicing our duelling skills - you can never be too prepared! Highlights include:
- I forget my lines
- Mark tries and fails to get musical
- Mark's reading skills take a total dive
- Mark didn't realise we were playing an entirely different game until afterwards
- Who is Ernie Macmillan?
- Your deck can get proper filthy
- There's a time when I say 'desk' instead of 'deck' but nobody noticed

In this week's minisode, we discuss the ultimate gaming environment! Highlights include:
- Do you know what Blake's 7 is?
- Ellen MacArthur!
- What's baize?
- 'Fridge is for kitchen'
- Mark loves a summer house

We're back in the 'verse - this time piloting our own ships, just trying to make a living in a harsh world of smuggling, gunfighting, and Alliance control. Highlights include:
- Mark is a brutal Fragger
- Contraband is probably bad
- Wanted: Spanner People
- Mark had the chance to financially cripple me but he let me off
- It should just be called Jobs in Space
- It's Deep Impact and Armageddon all over again
- Money is beautiful
- It sets up like Arkham but plays like Snakes and Ladders

What makes a game good? What can you judge games on? Find out in this week's minisode! Highlights include:
- It's basically Robot Wars
- What's the most aesthetically horrible game?
- Let's FRAG it!

Two factions vying for the glamourous title of World Leader in a 5 year war of global domination! Highlights include:
- Mark is alright looking
- I finally succeed in making the game chart, even if it is completely meritricious
- Spend your enemy wisely
- I swept over the moon like nobody's business
- You should have got some moon people
- Who's taking over Narnia?

It appears we've fallen asleep and slipped into the Oniverse. Hate it when that happens! Don't worry though, all we have to do is find the doors to the exit. Easy peasy, right? Highlights include:
- We get an official mascot!
- Listener Cassie is outraged
- It's a bit Picasso-y
- Take some drugs and come up with an entire universe - it's easily done
- Mark basically forgets what he's doing
- Are we huge racists?

We've had a few issues in the past, so it's time to discuss the ideal rule book! Highlights include:
- Slow on the business front again
- If there's too many questions, something's gone wrong
- Mark invents our mascot
- Siri makes a guest appearance... or whatever the audio equivalent of that is

It's a full moon in our peaceful village, but shit! Some of us are werewolves! Can the villagers successfully work out who is a bloodthirsty bastardo and lynch them before the wolves take over? Highlights include:
- What future hollow millers?
- Mark forgets who he is and what he can do pretty much every round
- What does the fox say?
- The economy of our village is awful
- Matt goes on a bit of a rant
- Heal or poison? The dilemma of the witch...
- Bunty has a suspicious face
- Glen is 'lynch-happy'
- Meriel gets killed by her own stumps
- You can't kill the gamesmaster
- Sarah tries to commit one of the pet hates
- Everyone kept thinking Bunty was dead
- Amanda gets the end credits sting, and what a charming message it is

Finally, we play Listener Dan's reworking of a classic. It's Chess, but you flick it... Highlights include:
- Booby Trap is not Minnesota's claim to fame
- Mark's a big wuss
- If you've got sensitive tips, maybe this isn't the game for you
- Ladies and Gentlemen... Chestnut Maloo!

Black vs white... Good vs evil... Phil Vs Mark... Are we clever enough to do the chess? Highlights include:
- It's Chess!
- It's like the library of board games
- Mark makes a fundamental misunderstanding of the rules
- We've already spoken about favourite Chesh Setch
- Execute the Flundergraf Manoeuvre!

Who can build the best armada to conquer the stars? It's deckbuilding, but IN SPACE! Highlights include:
- What is a geep? You're a geep!
- There's no Latin word for spreadsheet
- Do we sound like pissheads to you?
- You would have to be a dunce to not be able to play this
- It's baby's first deckbuilder
- I like my events to be unavoidable
- The spreadsheet is not a democracy

The truth is out there, but will we find it? The FBI has been infiltrated by The Syndicate, but what are they hiding? Find out as we play Legendary X-Files! Highlights include:
- Mark's reading skills are on point
- Can the Incredible Hulk help you uncover a conspiracy?
- What do you mean, you don't remember the Faciphaga Imasculata?
- You never get a clear photo of the monster
- Mark struggles with the basics
- The last thing you want is bad guys in your strike zone

It's a cat themed game of Russian Roulette - who will get well and truly blown up by an exploding (or imploding) kitten? Highlights include:
- Mark's eyesight (and memory) is totally shit
- The NSFW is actually quite SFW
- Mark becomes entombed within the cone of shame
- Shit shuffling is definitely not an issue
- What's Old Maid?

It's a special game of non-copyright infringement Fluxx alright? Nothing to see here, honest. Highlights include:
- No business!
- Who broke whose copyright?
- Brandy and tea, fine. Strongbow and tea... no
- Mark can't read
- We're interrupted by some paranormal activity
- Rip off or interpretation - you decide

In this week's minisode, we talk about games in books and film! Highlights include:
- Listen up Quizbitches!
- Tell us about your dice tower...
- Jumanji doesn't really come to life, what???

Creating insults in order to destroy your enemies' self esteem? This certainly puts a twist on the deckbuilding format! Join us as we play Bant! Highlights include:
- Plug plug plug!
- Mark may be colour blind
- Once again, I am tactically deficient
- Mark can't say 'tactical'
- Everyone knows Mark likes a deck builder

It's Monopoly. It's real money. It's about to get cagey! How competitive will we be, now that literal pounds are at stake? Will friendships withstand the onslaught of capitalism? Highlights include:
- Every game needs a character called Judith
- We actually did a Non Relinquam In Arca Operculo!
- What happens in Monopoly stays in Monopoly
- Meriel ruined everything
- 12p is not enough to keep you alive
- There's a period of at least ten minutes where Mark doesn't speak
- Patrick is the villain of the piece
- I don't care, just let me eat some fucking naan bread
- Making it rain with Winston Churchill

Join us on a deckbuilding adventure across the verse as we attempt to steal some pills, defeat some bandits, and generally not die of fire! Highlights include:
- Which of your friends is most likely to get bummed in the office?
- The ship's on fire. We've got to get rid of the fire.
- It's a Frankenstein's monster of art styles

Join us for a mad dash around a tropical island in search of valuable treasures, but watch out for fireballs spewed out by the fearsome Vul-Kar! Highlights include:
- Do not expose to excessive heat!
- Cataclysms are exciting
- Explorers? Tourists? Explorists?
- Go for the heart
- Everyone knows that tote bags make you immune to theft
- Yay, marbles
- Any old games in need of a vajazzle?

A load of random faces are trapped in a random contraption - for no reason! Highlights include:
- Focus on the money, not the junk
- It shall now be referred to as 'The Mangler'
- By touching them, you can feel how tight they are
- Mark screams like a girl every time it snaps

They say that every day's a school day, but is that true in the board game world? What skills are you actually learning by playing? Highlights include:
- Too many firsts
- Gaming? Gardening? Same thing really
- Mark can't say 'vocabulary'
- You can't be a dullard
- There are too many games that make you jump
 

We've all seen them... You'll be flicking through shelves of board games about spaceships, monsters, magic, zombies and superheroes, and then you see it, and you're left with one single astounding thought: Why would anybody make a game about the 90s Taiwan Independence Movement?? Highlights (of the episode, not the 90s Taiwan Independence Movement) include:
- No one wants the D ruining their game of dominoes
- Beetle Drive gets some serious judgement
- Prostitutes are sorely under-represented in the board game world
- Florence Nightingale, what a bitch

Igor, fetch me some limbs! We attempt to out-surgery each other in a race to create the best Frankenstein's Bodies! Highlights include:
- Total?
- Mark threatens the spreadsheet supporters
- We get a new pet hate...
- Strategy fails, again
- Is Mark on opposite day?
 

We look back at the first year of Organised Fun! Highlights include:
- Have we ruined Derek Ring's career?
- If you can't understand the rules, check you're old enough
- Are women important? Have you got enough witches?
- We finally learn what Mark's 'Create Your Own' idea is
- Mark can't remember most of the games we've played
- 'Hilarious and Disturbing in equal measure' - our highest accolade
- The spreadsheet can never be defeated

We fucked up the world, went to Mars, shit went down, and now there's a war. I hate it when that happens! Find out who wins as we battle for the Everzone! Highlights include:
- Ooh, a name!
- Once again, there's a level of strategy that we haven't considered...
- Hindsight is 20/20 innit
- Eyesight? More like Eyeshite
- What's your number? Here's my number...
- You need to up your font size

So we went to a Board Game Café... there was no spreadsheet. Highlights include:
- The cat is particularly vocal
- You haven't lived unless you've played the Game of Life
- I was expecting a board game dungeon with Barbara Windsor
- It's like Blockbuster Video but for games
- Food + Games = Eeek
- We're playing a game, fuck your cake!
- The chairs weren't right
- Here's a penis on the table...
- How namey do we name things?
- It's like the prostitution of board games

Building castles to protect the dream world from some evil shitlord? Sounds strategic... Highlights include:
- I am alone in my non-competitiveness
- Is 'Tile Game' a category?
- I've been in a car accident that wasn't my fault
- Mark takes my role of 'strategic liability'
- Mark struggles with the concept of shapes and colours... also fact and fiction

This week we get all competitive - does winning matter? Highlights include:
- Mark's accent gets more love
- Arm wrestling is not a board game
- You can make any game drinking or gambling
- Shots for the losers!
- It's like Saw, but with board games

This week, we discuss the frightening occurrence of the second edition - a killer if you're someone who feels compelled to buy everything! Highlights include:
- What's the order of the mousetrap contraption?
- We get a new pet hate!
- Does different mean better?
- Making a new edition is akin to abandoning your baby
- Scrabble Second Edition? People would go ape shit!
- Is there one called Edward?

In this week's minisode, we consider video games that try to be board games! Highlights include:
- Let's be honest, it's a messy start
- What do New Zealand people say?
- Can you ever trust a computer?
- Games are becoming less... papery
- Computer board games are a lonely person's best friend
- Where is clover from?
- Let's be honest, it's a messy finish

We get another Fluxx set under our belts (not literally, that would be weird). Is it as shiny as promised? Highlights include:
- Firefly Fluxx is quite difficult to say
- We actually talk about Discover Lands Unknown more than Firefly Fluxx. Maybe this episode should be called Discover Lands Unknown Part 2
- Meriel goes a bit 'me'
- I get a bit of spreadsheet envy
- Christian Petersen is not the founder of Fantasy Flight for nothing
- Listen out for the Fluxx Championships in about five years' time
- Mark can't pronounce 'parasol'
- Hitler - famously not British

We've woken up in a strange place. We don't know where we are or what's going on... The only solution is to explore our surroundings and try and work it out before we starve to death. I'm sure you can guess what happens! Highlights include:
- The Philippines is not where I thought it was
- Cassie makes a welcome return to pod-bothering
- Mark is a huge hypocrite bastard
- There's quite a few chances to... not die
- You should always cook your meat
- There's a lot of bull
- Not every game has to go on for years and years

We return to Arkham again as a new threat... threatens. Will we actually save the town this time or will we get our asses kicked once more in the Third Edition of the classic game? Highlights include:
- I take the credit for Deep Space Nine Fluxx
- How hard is it to make a jigsaw fit together?
- It's like a smooshing of Arkham games
- Pavilione: If you know, you know...
- Death: It's an Arkham thing
- A lady mechanic? In the 1920s?
- Portals to other dimensions and gross tentacle beasts are NOT real life

Kirk meets Picard like in that film, Generations. It worked ok then (ish - Kirk died though), but will it bog down Star Trek Fluxx? Highlights include:
- Zombies scores a solid 2/10 for scariness
- What the fuck is 'epport'?
- Do you go by the words or the pictures?
- Derek Ring!
- You're a bastard

Our dubiously constructed town has been overrun by zombies! The helicopter is on its way, but will we make it to the helipad in time? Or will we just settle for killing as many of the undead as we can? Highlights include:
- Such cards, much pile
- We haven't been doing the podcast for all of time
- We visit the Cave of Shitlords
- The map grew at an acceptable rate
- Delivery cost more than the actual game itself
- Missing: one helipad
- We go palindromic
- We finally find out how to play Flick Chess (or Chesh)

In this minisode, we discuss what keeps us coming back to play games over and over! Highlights include:
- Glee killed Scene It
- We hope JK Rowling is ok
- Replayability = Board quality
- What the fuck's a Storio?
- We revolutionise the concept of Cluedo... and general law
- What is fun?
- You can do one
- I have to explain the spreadsheet AGAIN
- Who cheated at Quidditch?
 

Get your wands out and test your knowledge as we play Harry Potter Scene It! Highlights include:
- Hogwarts TM
- How can you only read 'some' of the books?
- I love Harry Potter
- Mark's example of a recent console is a Wii
- If you don't like Harry Potter, this isn't the Scene It for you
- Mark forgets the whole point of the podcast
-

I give you Chargeball! My effort in response to our Create Your Own Challenge goes up against Mark's harsh scrutiny - will it be enough to impress? Highlights include:
- We actually try and give some legit advice, not very successfully
- Mark forgets the conditions of the challenge
- Be honest, do you know what colours the Elements are?
- Hexagons? Rectangles? Whatever...
- Who brings a gun to a ball game??
- How complicated can Trains and Potholes be?
- Prams and Wheelchairs...

It's just another routine day aboard the USCSS Theseus. Oh wait, nope - it's been infested with aliens! Can a squad of brave Colonial Marines clear out the nest and save the day? Highlights include:
- 25% Shed Babies
- Alien tails give me no end of stress
- Mark hasn't ever seen Predator... because it's invisible
- My entire Marine squad = one Alien Queen
- There could be scope for utter bastardry
- I am king of the gun jam
- When you attack a load of aliens and realise you only have a combat knife
- It has lots in common with games we've played before... like... dice 
- I think you'll find Ripley does make some tight turns in the APC actually

In this week's minisode, we discuss the merits of making your own board games (in a lovable, childlike way, not a moneygrabbing Kickstarter bastard way). Highlights include:
- Gary Potter is a chavvy Slytherin
- Mark was brought up in a cellar
- You can just put your own face on stuff
- Look out for 'Trains and Potholes' in a game shop near you!
- Made your own game? Want Mark to slag it off? Get in touch!
- Mark is suddenly a Guantanamo Bay expert...
 

We've signed up with NorTec, and our base is under attack! Can we keep the HQ intact through the waves of alien monstrosities? Highlights include:
- I experience major diagram woes
- We get Patrick on the phone
- We pitch Game Chooser App Mega
- Mark does his best Holographic Museum Woman voice
- Stock up on fodder
- We experience a confluence of effluence
- Gary Potter??

Aliens are dropping out of orbit all over the shop, and Earth's last hope is... us. Basically, kiss the planet goodbye! Highlights include:
- Bunty gets fan mail
- Watch out for Floaters
- Mark ruins the order of things
- I forgot the atmospheric music
- Mark can't tell the difference between figures and tokens
- Our budgeting is a total mess
- We basically lost because of Asia

We join The Consortium and blast back in time to the roaring twenties... Can we stop a temporal fault being created in a French mental asylum? Highlights include:
- Imagine Source Code and Quantum Leap had a baby...
- Also imagine Exit and House Of Danger had a baby...
- Never investigate suspicious grunting
- Watch out for manticores
- Where's the croquet?
- I forgot my cocaine addiction

Grab your lightsabers, charge up your blasters, and watch out for Bantha poodoo as we play Star Wars Destiny! Who will win in a classic battle of Dark against Light? Highlights include:
- Board games can be used for evil
- Not Jar Jar Binks!!!
- It's all about the guns
- How do they work out age recommendations?
- Mark still can't remember the motto
- Siri gets involved

It began with a Christmas gift full of good intentions... Bunty joins us as we plumb the depths of the gay sex trade. Just how rude can we make a game of Monopoly? Highlights include:
- This is a different level of swearing
- We get schooled on Sandy Petersen
- 10 out of 10 for 'rude'
- An orgy is better than a threesome - everyone knows that
- I fell into a porn void
- Jail is quite sexy
- Polite company? That's not where we are...
- You could do a lot of damage at an orgy, medically speaking
- Would you rather be spanked by a toff, or would you rather spank a toff?
- We get an insight into how I behave at work
- Nipple Play is a great little earner
- This game is a gift for straight ladies
- If a straight man is into spanking a posh toff, are they still a straight man?
- Warning to future visitors, this one is going on the spreadsheet!

The world as we know it has ended, humanity is done for, and ancient evils walk the earth, vying for supremacy. Who will win the Cthulhu Wars? Highlights include:
- Fuck the environment and fuck homeless people!
- If Sandy Petersen is such a great game designer, why does he need Kickstarter?
- What is Sandy short for?
- We work ourselves into a dead end with an epic strategy fail
- Mark kills everything
- How could I not have sucked?

Be a winner at The Game Of Life, find a job and money maybe, get married, have a baby, take a chance, find romance, all your dreams may come true! Highlights include:
- You get a boner from egg and cress sandwiches
- Mark really can't say the motto
- Marriage is compulsory
- Mark is a humourless wretch
- I'm not sold on the spinner
- We fail at maths
- We had pretty good lives, but never actually owned a house
- Why would you wear sunglasses if you don't have any eyes?

We've woken up in an abandoned hospital with no recollection of how we got there, or what's going on. All we've got to go on is this podcast episode! Will we solve the mysteries of the Coma Ward? Highlights include:
- I get my words wrong
- Mark destroys Meriel's game categories
- Hooray! Zack and Albert both survive!
- The last thing you want is to flash your junk whilst running through the hospital...
- Hospital people might need to help us out a bit
- I get condescending as fuck
- It's not shit, it just needs work

We enrol in the Grand Academy of Magic so we can train as kick ass Battle Mages! We've chosen our best spells, but who will win? Highlights include:
- Mark's wizard sounds like an STD
- 69% of people can't be trusted
- I've been practicing my letters
- Mark blames his poor spell choices on me
- It's Epic PvP, but done well

We assemble a team of brave investigators to once more try and rescue the town of Arkham from unspeakable horror, in the original 1987 release! Highlights include:
- We get a second Hater!
- Every Monopoly cloud has a Game of Life silver lining
- We lamely attempt to pass the Bechdel test
- Dilettante? Debutante? Whatever!
- It's all a bit brisk
- It's not a maths podcast
- Finally, someone says the motto with me!

In this Minisode, we discuss game genres and classifications! How do you know what you're getting, and how do you choose? Highlights include:
- I finally won something on Arkham Horror The Card Game
- Mark confuses Guatemala with Guantanamo Bay
- Board Games? Crystal Maze? Same thing innit
- Knowing things is a skill
- Coming soon to a games shop near you - Horror of the Whatevers
- I use a horrendous baby metaphor
- I almost forget to say the motto

Prepare the away team and get your red shirts on as we play Star Trek Fluxx! Highlights include:
- We get a new pet hate...
- I get shitty with Hasbro
- You're in for some quality sound effects...
- Who is Christine Chapel??
- Mark makes some controversial ranking choices...

We're on a train speeding across Europe and there's been a murder! The detective solving the case has gone missing and now it's down to us to solve the crime and escape. Oh, and we're locked in, obviously. We need an exit, pronto! Highlights include:
- I have to say hello to everybody
- I do a half arsed job at box reading
- #exitstrategies
- Mark doesn't know the difference between Spades and Clubs
- We can't do logic
- If you don't spot it, you don't notice it...
- Finally Screenspiel has a new episode!
- I explain how the spreadsheet actually works
- Go to Escape Rooms Cardiff!

Eat some mushrooms and force yourself down a pipe to collect shiny coins - sounds like a typical day on a council estate, but it's not, it's Monopoly Gamer! Highlights include:
- It's bad news for Derek Ring
- Old people can design games too
- I lose the ability to speak coherently, and I wasn't even drinking this week!
- Mark is a coin grabbing bastard
- Luigi is the shit brother
- You get to hear some stunning impressions of Wario, Peach and Boo - strap in!
- Just how big is Rosalina?

We take to the clouds, harnessing the lightning in an attempt to wire up a rocket launch pad... as you do! Join us as we play Forbidden Sky! Try not to get blown off... Highlights include:
- Apologies to Ryan Miller - your name is common
- Luke Peterschmidt is more popular than Derek Ring
- We get interrupted by a random rocket launch
- According to Mark, America owns the internet
- Cassie admits defeat
- Where's Tunisia?
- We fail to understand basic electricity
- Tactfully? Tactically? Whatever...
- What does the motto mean again?
- If in doubt, add a rocket

Join us for a shufflebuilding battle of epic proportions. It's the Halfling Rogues versus the Orc Barbarians, but in the end, does it really matter? Highlights include:
- I get multilingual
- Listener Cassie has been on the blower again
- Mark refuses to drink Brandy Milk Punch
- We fail the Bechdel test
- There's some box inconsistency
- I sound like a Hater
- Mark declares this is the worst one we've played so far
- The cat is very pissed off this week

Join us for our first Expansion - We'll be seeing if adding a load of cocks makes a difference to Bears Vs Babies! Highlights include:
- Cassie gets a challenge
- God bless the Christians
- I retract a flashback
- Saying NSFW repeatedly is really difficult
- Some of the bears now have tits