Organised Fun

Episode 137 - Jurassic World Legacy Of Isla Nublar

We embark on an epic legacy campaign chronicling the ups and downs of Isla Nublar and its genetically enhanced dinosaur occupants. Can we successfully build and run a functioning dino theme park, or will a shit load of people get eaten due to management incompetence? Highlights include:
- Do you have a board game limit?
- Kelly Malcolm gets a bashing
- Zones and Sectors... Spaces?
- Is this monster gonna eat me, or the goat next door?
- Hungry? Follow the chomp chart!
- Narratively, how would a dinosaur teleport?
- Jurassic Park, famously created by Richard Hammond
- Because why wouldn't you make a Pythonosaurus?
- Forget all about the dinosaurs escaping and all the industrial espionage, this tour group wants to see the petting zoo
- Patrick has too much whiskey
- Aww you lost - scratch off the sympathy box
- Patrick forgets what his but is
- I accidentally put wolverine DNA in my Spinosaurus

Minisode 33 - Photo Competition

Board games are pretty! Board games are artistic! Show off your best/most creative boardgame photos for a chance to win a game with us! Submit on Twitter or Facebook! Highlights include:
- It's our first actual competition!
- RIP Gloria Goldberg
- Any dilemmas for the Board Game Court?
- Get submitting your pics on the socials, yeah?

Kids On Brooms Chapter 12 - Time Loop

There's a way to save Xavier! But how many times will Grace and Jessie have to repeat Thursday before they get it right?
Also, don't forget to vote for your favourite Game Night invite! Let us know either on the Facebook page or the Twitter feed!

Minisode 32 - Ideal Game Night

This week, we're talking about what makes a game night! What's important? Who do you invite? What games do you choose? Do you just follow a spreadsheet? Highlights include:
- The people have voted: the Meeples must die!
- Three courses, like a dinner
- Welcome to game night, here's Onirim
- What's that werewolf one? ...Werewolf
- You have to trick your guests into thinking they have a choice
- No whiners
- If you're not having a good time, just leave

Minisode 31 - Exit Advent Calendar 2

It's another December of puzzles as we endeavour to retrieve Santa's Golden Book from a mysterious thief!

Kids On Brooms Chapter 11 - The Hydra Approaches

After Dorset Applecake was eaten on live TV, the Hydra/Serpent... Hydrant? is searching for more victims - But why? What's the connection? And are our heroes at risk?

Kids On Brooms Chapter 10 - Friends Reunited

Grace is back from her exclusion, but in her absence, frightful machinations have been taking place - what trouble does this spell for Hollyfirth and indeed, the whole magical community?

Episode 136 - Love Letter

Riley joins us in the royal court, where the Princess is a bit upset after her mother got arrested for treason (Understandable). It has been widely understood that the only way to cheer her up is to profess your love in a letter. So which of us will get our letter to the princess first? Will she even read it? Highlights include:
- We give you the tragic tale of Amy Johnson
- The mechanic is... cards
- Is Riley a priest?
- The protective power of Handmaids
- Batman is never seen without his velvet pouch
- The medieval times was notorious for munters and slags

Promosode 3 - Witchbound

I chat to Thatcher from Dark Doll Games all about his upcoming project Witchbound! Part choose your own adventure, part ttrpg, part puzzler - make sure you check out the project page on Gamefound!

Episode 135 - Bermuda Triangle

Join us on the open seas as we sail our freighters around the Bermuda Triangle, trying to earn our fortunes by collecting precious cargo. Wait... is that a storm brewing? Highlights include:
- I want to watch Captain Power
- Colour-coding the FRAG page has highlighted some major concerns
- I've learned some geography
- When in doubt, get some oil
- You're not even safe in port
- Oil is worth more than sugar, yeah?
 

Episode 134 - Star Trek Klingon Challenge

We were just going about our daily business in Starfleet, making some general repairs on the USS Enterprise, when we get hijacked by a bloody Klingon! Hate it when that happens! Can we get the ship back in time? Highlights include:
- It's not filmed in actual space, sorry
- You must go clockwise - it's the law of board games
- There has been a major lapse in security
- I finished the game in unnecessary stasis
- Get ready for Bij
- Sarah is an extremely 'thoughtful' player
- Nobody wants a low powered beave
- Made locally don't you know
- Amanda pulls rank
- Why are all the good guys human? Racist!
- Munchkin has really traumatised us

Episode 133 - Sub Terra

Patrick and I were just doing some casual caving when we fell down a hole and got stuck. I hate it when that happens! Can we avoid tremors, floods and toxic cave gas to escape before our torch batteries run out? Oh, and I don't think we're alone down here... Highlights include:
- Nobody in this cave is fit
- There's no action tokens, so please never mention them again
- It's a right cave of shittery
- Has anybody seen Steve?

Episode 132 - Risk Legacy

Patrick and Meriel join me for an epic 15 game campaign of war, in which our world will be forever changed! Highlights include:
- Pat is a total villain
- It's all about the packs, baby
- Which shitty mangled world shall we play on today?
- Narratively speaking, I screwed myself over
- If you're not an alien or a mutant, you're basically trash
- Riots... pfff
- Unsurprisingly, there's no reward if you die
- Naming things is an immense pressure
- Some continents are just... shit
- The dice are incredibly unforgiving
- There was one day where I had the rage
- Sometimes you just have to be a bastard
- This will severely alter the victory stats
- Alaska is like, literally gone
- Jump to 3:84 for a completely out of time experience
- The highs were high and the lows were low
- You might get Risk Fatigue

Episode 131 - The Biscuit Game (Not That One)

Riley joins us as we all gather round and... dunk fake biscuits into fake tea. Why are we doing this? To avoid the sludgy cup, of course! Highlights include:
- The board did what??
- Now you can find your favourite guest's episodes!
- The rules seem to think we were doing something quite different...
- Once again, Mark forgets all the main elements of how these episodes work
- Do you like a girthy biscuit?
- Tony, what have you done?
- Do YOU know what 'The Biscuit Game' is?
- It's a tea related breakdown
- Brackets are important
 

Kids On Brooms Chapter 9 - Split Party

Thanks to Cynthia Whipshaft's lies, Grace has been taken away! Can the others collect enough evidence to prove her innocence and get her back, and what will she discover up in the Welsh mountains?

Episode 130 - Don’t Talk To Strangers

School's out and the kids have got to get home. Trouble is, the town is full of aliens! Literally hate it when that happens! Highlights include:
- We got a rule wrong last week. What you gonna do about it?
- Now you can play Monopoly FOREVER
- Half the fun is naming the kids
- You might get stuck with a handful of bus
- Got a problem? Ask Holiday Jones
- You'll be safe at the prom, surely?
- They're not aliens, they're 'strangers'
- American bins don't typically have 'US Mail' on the side
- Why would I kill my own twins?
- Ben Stoll: King of Cryptozoic
- Mark gets confused between Marvel and DC
- Who froze?

Episode 129 - Get Bit

Our robots are enjoying a lovely swim when a shark starts chasing them. I hate it when that happens! Who will make it to safety, and who will get bit? Highlights include:
- 'Tabletop' is just not inclusive enough... what about games you play on a lawn?
- Hey baby, wanna come play flat surface games with me?
- Congratulations to Tim!
- They have to be robots otherwise it would be a massacre
- How many bits can you break a robot into anyway?
- Hmmm... I think you can hear my tumble dryer

Episode 128 - Word Mastermind

Ten turns. Four letters. Infinite possibilities (unless you're illiterate). Highlights include:
- It's the best selling game in the world, apparently
- Research (looking things up on the internet)
- Masterblind: You won't see it coming
- It's Wordle, innit
- You've got black and white pegs
- Mark admits that he turns the sound down when I'm talking
- Don't forget, there's black and white pegs
- It's not Stephen Hawking or anything
- It's got a board. It's got pegs (black and white)
- We hope you enjoy 70s Brown
- The 70s is not ancient
- If you can play it without the board and pieces, does it need to exist?

Expansion 17 - Chargeball Version 2

Chargeball is back! Now featuring slightly less shit production value, as well as some new boards, cards and tokens. Oh yeah, and a TTS version too - Woo! Highlights include:
- Throwback to Year 1
- Imagine Space Rugby. Magical Space Rugby.
- Mark talks about the hexagons like they're new, but they aren't
- Penalty cards (Copyright Riley Stock 2022)
- Get the ball. Score some points
- I Pinocchioed it
- Mark frequently forgets that he's presenting this one
- Ugh, if you want to play it yourself? Eeewww!
- Coming soon - all the games Mark hated, from worst to best worst

Minisode 30 - Ancient Game Tomb Challenge

Phil, Tim and Riley compete in the Ancient Game Tomb Challenge! A set of random components have been unearthed in a freshly discovered tomb. Perhaps they are part of a game of some sort? We each pitch our games, but the vote is down to you! Highlights include:
- Which do you prefer, reviews or 'other' content?
- MS Paint for the win
- Ancient cultures really were brutal
- Riley makes us all look bad by actually creating his game
- Snakes can be tricky
- How did string survive?
- Indiana Jones has given us lots of inspiration/education
- Did I cheat? Who knows!
- I'm a total selfish bastard
- What happened to your hands, Grandma?

Episode 127 - Piepmatz

We've put out some seeds on our feeder, each hoping to collect the best selection of birds - but watch out for those bastard crows! Highlights include:
- What is this?? ~30???
- Everyone knows birds love to queue
- If a seal turns up at your feeder, you've automatically lost
- To win, you need to be strategicking
- How do you gender a bird anyway?
- Greenfinches were just not interested in our seeds
- Mark invented 'Creator Corner' then promptly forgot all about it
- Look out for the common or garden Pinchback
- What else has eggs?

Kids On Brooms Chapter 8 - Balls To Monday

Grace's nemesis and all-round biatch, Cynthia Whipshaft is hosting the Welcome Back Ball - can't possibly go wrong, surely?

Episode 126 - Jane Austen And Zombies

Classic novelist Jane Austen has totally lost the plot and jumped on the zombie bandwagon - the only trouble is, she's set on eradicating her existing stories! Can these beloved characters endure the undead hordes for long enough to complete their narratives? Highlights include:
- It sucks to be a woman in Regency England
- You cannot romance a zombie
- LGBT, yes. Incest, no
- A lady must never be without her bin lids
- Augusta Elton. Gooseberry
- Please, Miss Austen!
- You blink, and suddenly zombies are everywhere
- She better run!

Episode 125 - Munchkin

We are about to enter the dungeon... who knows what lurks behind the door. Will it be immense treasures or weird monsters? Who knows! Highlights include:
- Apologies for the shit quality - I got the settings wrong, whoops!
- Make way for the Dragon Master
- This game lasted 84 years
- Sarah's tinfoil hat is inordinately strong
- It's all a bit beige
- You REALLY need to read your cards
- Sarah needs to learn the meaning of 'helping'
- Amanda loves her some buffs and nerfs...
- We phoned Simon while he was driving, but it's ok, we didn't kill him

Episode 124 - Snowdonia

It's 1894 and we've decided to build a railway right to the top of Snowdon, the highest mountain in Wales (and England to be fair...) like you do. Who can build the most stuff and make the most meaningful contribution to this effort? Highlights include:
- It's the Snowdonia Deluxe Master Set, and don't you forget it!
- 30 minutes or 90 minutes: there is no middle ground
- Mark is an honorary Snowdon Mountain Railway driver
- Do they have trains in Dungeons and Dragons?
- I regularly mix up steel and iron... what you gonna do about it?
- There will be no lollygagging whatsoever
- We don't speak about the Hebron Incident
- What do you need coal for?
- Guaranteed a yeti will fuck up your railway
- Mark introduces a new section, Creator Profile
- Tony Boydell is trains to the max
- Here's the player aid tome
- Time to assign your labradors
 

Kids On Brooms Chapter 7 - Into The Vaults

Safely back from their ordeal, our heroes stumble on the perfect opportunity to explore the vaults beneath the school - will they discover anything that can help explain what's going on?

Episode 123 - Elevenses

All of society's greatest are gathered for a simply scrumptious morning tea, but who can put on the best spread? Highlights include:
- Tea? That's the 1800s isn't it?
- Yeah, but how does it actually work?
- Strap in for the worst explanation of a game ever
- Why would you give away your milk?
- Just leave each other's tea alone!
- Alright darlin, flash us your kitchen
- Afternoon tea is only for ladies
- Tactics! Strategy! Tea!
- If it's already in the box from the start, is it an expansion?
- Nan's gone to bed, get the cocks out!
- Congratulations to Mark for remembering the format of an episode

Kids On Brooms Chapter 6 - Friday Night Boss Fight

Turns out that the self flying brooms were possessed, and now Jessie and Merida find themselves being whisked away to a mystery location - who or what will they find when they get there? And what will the rest of the team do without them?

Kids On Brooms Chapter 5 - Whack!

It's Friday at Hollyfirth, and everyone is excited about the grand finale of Barry Cooper's tournament, with the prizes being presented at a special Whack concert. What could go wrong?

Special 4 - Year 4 Review

It's the end of our fourth year! Find out all the best bits! Highlights include:
- Derek Ring is yesterday's news
- Introducing the Fluxx Desk. Your drawers will never be the same again!
- Polyhedra sleeps...
- Trains and Potholes!!!!
- Which was the fake game?
- Mark cannot remember Mysterium
- Horrorclix is basically an ancient game now
- Sarah thinks the stickers are hilarious
- Mark seems to love Tiny Library way more than he let on

Episode 122 - Agility

Mark's dream comes true as we play Brent Povis' other game! But can my dogs out... dog his? Highlights include:
- I'm still croaky
- A bonus surprise from Brent himself!
- Dog games are not my thing
- Mark finds reading the box particularly challenging
- Our first ever rondel
- I want to summon the dark lord Cthulhu, should I?
- Does Crufts still exist?
- A serious bagging issue has occurred
- What was the fake game?

Episode 121 - Secret Hitler

It's 1930s Berlin and we're trying to choose the best government possible. The only problem is that one of us is secretly Hitler. Ugh! I hate it when that happens! Highlights include:
- Not as much fun as watching Madonna fall down the stairs at Eurovision
- Newent: It's a magical place
- Amanda's amazing 1933 Berlin intro was not recorded
- We're all here solely for the parliamentary procedure
- It's all about the lies
- Jane was a huge fascist just out of curiosity
- Being liberal isn't as fun as killing people
- Sarah thought there were more fascists than there actually were. We've all been there.
- I lost my 4
- Envelopes always make you feel like a spy
- Like most things, when you're dead, there's nothing to do
- Chancellor by default - it's a hollow victory
- Sarah's description of Cluedo: That game where it's you, in the room, with the knife
 

Episode 120 - Ecosystem

Meadows, streams, and a load of animals with specific requirements. Who can build the best ecosystem and keep everyone happy, or who'll end up with a poor bunny surrounded by wolves? Highlights include:
- Mark saw, Mark bought, we played
- Oooh, a biologically derived card game!
- Everyone knows the bears and the foxes don't get on
- Anybody heard of a Fwolf?
- Mark doesn't know the difference between a bee and a dragonfly
- You never know if your forest will get taken over by wolves - it's always a risk
- Yes, Mark does say 'coral leaf'
- Obviously, the next logical step is the zombie apocalypse
- Let's introduce some invasive bastards

Episode 119 - Quarriors

Who can gain the most glory in this dice building game of quiddity, quarry and... q words! Highlights include:
- Brent Povis, are you still out there?
- As usual, we're playing things in the wrong order. Here's the version before Marvel Dice Masters
- Still not a fan of the rulebook...
- Nobody likes to win by default
- The more expensive a dice, the better, right?
- But could it be done with mushrooms?
- Summon the Royal Dorrier
- Games are always better when they're tactful

Episode 118 - Fungi

We're off for a scourage in the woods to see who can cook the best mushrooms. As you do. Highlights include:
- We were not actually mushrooms
- There's a pronunciation debate
- Don't use Twitter to tell someone who doesn't have Twitter to get Twitter
- You have to pick these mushrooms quick
- There are some complicated mushroom names
- It's all about the pans, baby!
- What the hell is scouraging?
- You won't believe this, but poison is bad
- Sorry, there isn't any delicious dinner tonight. I swapped it for sticks...
- Which came first, cider or fire?
- Why do you always use a wicker basket?
- Game mechanic - tick. Tasty mushroom medleys - cross.

Episode 117 - Unlock

We branch out in our escape game experience by trying Unlock. In French. Don't ask. Highlights include:
- We totally butcher some French (the language, not the people)
- Hooray for tutorial mode!
- On your guard, or on your toes - choose your translation
- The icy surface of Hoth is an environment that's shit
- The app is literally amazing
- A triangle has three sides, duh
- It's a messy FRAG this week...
- You can't criticise what you can't read

Kids On Brooms Chapter 4 - But What About The Flower?

It's Thursday at Hollyfirth, but after finding an obvious clue the previous day, our heroes decide to complete ignore it. Whatever.

Kids On Brooms Chapter 3 - Hollyfirth Vs Aberforth

Things are heating up as the two schools prepare to compete for Barry Cooper's grand prize! But will this distract our heroes from the mysteries that the school campus is hiding?

Episode 116 - Doctor Who: Don’t Blink

The Doctor and his companions have crash landed on a seemingly abandoned space ship. But, oh no!! It's infested with Weeping Angels, intent on sending us back to the past and stealing our life energy. I hate it when that happens. Can the heroes fix the Tardis and escape before it's too late? Highlights include:
- Mark can't remember what we played literally less than a week ago
- Weeping Agents would be an entirely different villain
- Backs to the walls, chaps
- Even the rules say the heroes won't win
- Sorry Doctor, it's not about you
- The game has middling complicatability

Episode 115 - Alien: Fate Of The Nostromo

The crew of the commercial tug Nostromo are in a bit of a pickle. After detouring to pick up a supposed distress signal, we're a man down and an alien up. Shit. Can we complete various tasks around the ship whilst avoiding the nefarious xenomorph? Highlights include:
- Typos ahoy!
- Ash is a dick
- Everyone knows androids love junk
- Instructions or flavour text?
- Bank Holiday History Lesson!

Kids On Brooms Chapter 2 - Barry Cooper

After a shocking attack on one of the students, can a celebrity visit from Serpentball star Barry Cooper lift the Hollyfirth spirits?

Episode 114 - Boo-quet

There's been a lot of deaths in our little Victorian town, but don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom! The ghosts are out in force, telling us exactly what flowers they want for their graves, and it's up to us to make their final wishes come true! Highlights include:
- It's a very alliterative box
- Sometimes it's a case of 'pass the duffer'
- Are orchids rare? No, they're in Tesco
- You have to please the ghost the most
- It's the Battle of Jenny Strachan!
- You wouldn't want to upset Dierdre's mourning husband...
- Funerals are real. Zombies are not real.
- Mark doesn't know the difference between fun and aesthetic
- It doesn't look Kickstartery
- Can you draw a photo-realistic ghost?
- Where's the dude from Oliver Twist when you need him?

Episode 113 - Masters Gallery

This week we are furiously collecting works of art in the hopes of influencing the worth of our favourite artists. It's a tough old life... Highlights include:
- Unfortunately, business first
- Abalone is all balls
- No cats allowed in the gallery
- Fuck you Degas, you suck
- Nothing like a 'Cheeky Vincent'
- Classic art is famous for its lack of guns
- Apologies to Reiner Knizia - we cannot pronounce your name

Episode 112 - Ghost Castle

We've been investigating a spooky old castle and now we've accidentally awoken a ghost (I hate it when that happens!) Who will be the first to escape the spirit's fiendish traps? Highlights include:
- Was I at the last EVER Clix tournament?
- Next week: Mince!
- I foolishly assumed I would win, then played like a total idiot
- It's way older than we thought
- Saw it. Bought it. Played it.
- Who calls their house 'Ghost Castle?' You're just asking for it, surely
- Sometimes, it's trigger one trap, get another trap free!
- When you're an old man, standing up is difficult
- Don't get twatted by the flap
- Would you rather get flapped up or tossed off?
- Sometimes you just have to take a risk
- Come on guys, marbles might seem fun at the time, but...

Episode 111 - Horrorclix

It's my team of monster hunters versus Mark's collection of general horror creatures! Who will win control of the graveyard? Will the game still click after so many years? Highlights include:
- It's been so long, I can't remember how old I was
- You're listening to an official Horrorclix Tournament Champion, baby!
- How do you choose a team when it's all just 'horror?'
- Clicker rings at the ready!
- The Alien Queen almost got taken out by Tesco Security...
- My priest gets a boyfriend! 
- Who needs tactics when we can just meet in the middle and scrap!
- Jane Cleaver can't stand up straight... maybe she's drunk?
- Who is that cool superhero? Oh, it's Jesus...

Episode 110 - Doctor Who The Card Game

Shit is going down all over time! Can the Doctor and his companions defend key locations around the galaxy from hoards of monsters, aliens, and general ne'er do wells? Highlights include:
- We created a Desperate Housewives paradox
- #SaveNeighbours
- I found it... aesthetically challenging
- All the cards have been put through the shit filter
- It comes complete with some player aid tomes
- Time Points are not Victory Points!
- We should have used Shufty, then Mark wouldn't be able to complain so much
- Just in case you didn't know, Mark has a Doctor Who Podcast

Episode 109 - Desperate Housewives Dirty Laundry

Welcome to Wisteria Lane, a hotbed of scandal and saucy secrets. Whose shady past will remain a mystery, and whose dirty laundry will be aired for all to hear? Highlights include:
- It's another victory for Mark... sorry
- The deckbuilders list gets even more questionable
- Who can build the best Paul?
- Prepare for some very naff American accents
- Spot the tin!
- You don't get shushed by enough board games these days...
- We've totally swapped roles
- Housewives are in fact, the lowest common denominator
- If you married a man and had a load of kids, you've failed at being a lesbian
- A red dice, how exciting!
- It needs more plastic women 

Episode 108 - Challenge Anneka

We have 48 hours to complete a charitable mission, collecting as much free shit as we can! Get your beach buggy and your satellite phone, and away we go! Highlights include:
- As usual, it's a smooth start
- Mark ignores all my helpful notes
- You're such a deck bag
- There are some questionable games on the BGG Deckbuilding list
- There's lots of Anneka Rice impressions
- Barry isn't doing anything today
- I'm afraid you've phoned the deaf primary school
- There are some very untrustworthy volunteers
- Make your mind up... is it the Community Centre or the Community Hall?
- 1990 = shit
- It needs more Anneka Rice

Expansion 16 - Zombies Vegas

The zombies have hit the casinos! As well as killing the undead hordes and searching for a helipad to escape, there's also gambling! Highlights include:
- Deckbuilding disappointment
- There's gambling... but why?
- Can you have too many expansions?
- You can't be a dog
- Who goes into a shop and buys Zombies 11?

Expansion 15 - Star Realms Scenarios

We're back in space, duking it out for control of the Star Realms, but this time there's scenarios to change the game - will they help or hinder? Highlights include:
- We're both legendary commanders
- Mark's recap is particularly clear and concise
- It's 'Baby's First Deckbuilder'
- Mark is not that great
- There are a few pound shop spaceships
- There's a disappointing set up for next week...

Minisode 29 - Board Game Diss Track

Are we too negative? Who's the most negative? Strap in for a montage of all the criticisms and rants we've had over the past three and a half years - reach your own conclusions, yeah?

Kids On Brooms Chapter 1 - Term Begins

Welcome to Hollyfirth! It's a new term at this formerly prestigious Milton Keynes based magical academy. What adventures await our students, Grace, Jessie and Xavier? 

Episode 107 - Near And Far

It's our Listeners' Choice episode! We gather supplies and recruit adventurers in the town, before setting off on the world map, questing and exploring and whatnot! Sometimes we're near, and sometimes we're far! Highlights include:
- Just to clarify guys, our names aren't actually Eyim and Rin
- Mark is inordinately impressed by the index
- There's a version for everyone!
- Let's rob the general store
- Has Mark solved what the name means?
- The Mystic doesn't give out very good presents...
- There's nothing wrong with a pagoda, if that's your jam
- I think I killed Mark's husband...
- Ok, but what are we actually trying to do?
- Mark repeatedly forgets to read the story...
- Mark is responsible for the deaths of many villagers

Episode 106 - Treasure Island

Long John Silver is in jail, reluctantly giving out hints to the location of his buried treasure! Can the pirates of the Hispaniola track it down before Silver hatches his escape plan and beats them to it? Highlights include:
- Awful pirate accents!
- We've got cabin fever...
- I struggle with colours
- Drawing on the board??? Shudder!
- Where's Blind Pew?
- Am I telling the truth? Or am I a dirty liar?
- How to make your hints as useless as possible...
- The treasure has not been found
- Might I interest you in some boots?
- I made some bad horse-riding decisions
- It's basically CSI Treasure Island
- Coming soon, 'Midwife: The Game'
- It's a bit like the scary Watership Down style artwork
- Jim Hawkins: a 13 year old boy with the face of a 40 year old man

Episode 105 - Trains And Potholes

An episode that has literally been years in the making, Trains And Potholes is finally here! All we have to do is get our trains to all the stations - simple right? Not if those potholes have anything to do with it! Highlights include:
- Mark contradicts himself many times - see if you can count them all!
- It's been so long, I can't track down all the previous references
- I, famously, did not create Fireball XL5
- Trains cannot overtake each other. Fact.
- The age old dilemma: further your own progress or hinder someone else's... but with trains
- We feel immense sympathy for our imaginary passengers
- Everyone knows that all the great inventions started off with a little paper prototype
- We will now be calling at 19 Shit Alley
- Do NOT bring your baby on a safari

Episode 104 - Kids On Brooms

We're swapping the bikes for brooms as things get magical - but how does it compare to the original, and does the magic measure up? Highlights include:
- It starts with glowing blue ends and nobs
- Patrick reveals his magical heritage
- We treat Harry Potter like Voldemort... those books that shall not be named
- Is magic a help or a hindrance?
- The best subject at our magical school is actually Maths
- What exactly was the scandal of '78?
- I forgot the familiars... and sometimes the magic
- Who calculates the magic?
- If you get lost, make Bunty have a vision
- Where's the class schedule, eh?
- Just how many times can we say 'familiar?'

Minisode 28 - Gaming Into 2022

It's NYE and we embark on a mission to play board games from 12 noon to 12 midnight! Will we (Mark) have the stamina? And which game will we be playing at the crucial moment? Highlights include:
- We revisit some games we haven't played for ages!
- My beer drinking is ridiculously poor
- The excitement peaks early with an Exit card trick
- Get ready for a horrendous impression of Aunt Beru
- Even when we get the rules right, Xenoshyft is still impossible
- Aerion gets a second wind! Mark even wants to play it again!
- Battle For Biternia gives me the rage
- I said I was going to list all the games and episodes... but I can't be bothered
- Every time I say what game we're playing next, Mark acts like he's never heard of it
- Mark commits a heinous crime

Minisode 27 - Exit Advent Calendar

If you want to hear two guys fudge their way through 24 days of escape puzzles, then this is the episode for you!

Minisode 26 - Board Game Top Sellers

Mark tries to guess the top 20 best selling board games of all time, and we discuss what makes them so - how many of them do you own? Highlights include:
- We finally pick the 'Listeners' Choice'
- Epic PvP is surprisingly not on the list
- Who remembers Dream Phone?
- Mark wants to play Candyland with real sweets. In fact, he wants to play most things with sweets...
- The Logo Game: it's everywhere!
- Are simpler games more likely to be popular?
- Everyone's played Chess, whether they wanted to or not
- If I haven't heard of it, it can't possibly be on the top sellers list!
- Come on guys, let's get Old Maid to the top spot!
- Coming soon: Shitty Preschool Colour Match

Ancient Episode 7 - Mancala

It's been about 2 years since we were talking about playing this, and now here we are! Except we're playing it on A4 paper using 5p coins. Whatever. Highlights include:
- Second time's a charm!
- Meet Shufty, the Card Shuffler
- Your mancala could be your mouth
- It's the kind of game Magneto and Professor X would play in the park
- Divots, pits, pots... what are they actually called?
- They probably won't be talking about Coma Ward in 2000 years

Kids On Bikes Chapter 20 - The Reverse Scooby Doo

It's the final showdown! Our heroes are all set to sabotage Alexei Zakharov's tour of Bluesburg - will they be successful? Will the bag of wigs get used to maximum effect? Who ate all the crisps? Find out now!

Kids On Bikes Chapter 19 - Fugitives Of Bluesburg

Just when our heroes have hatched a plan, they find themselves wanted by the Bluesburg Police Department. On the run and with the clock ticking until Alexei Zakharov pulls the plug on Bluesburg for good, how will they evade capture in time to save the town?

Kids On Bikes Chapter 18 - Mrs Boorman

Jerry's wife Cassandra makes a surprise return as our heroes get closer to taking down Eclipse once and for all...

Minisode 25 - Doctor Who Nerd Battle

Special guest David challenges Mark to a game of Doctor Who Trivial Pursuit, to see who is the ultimate fan (nerd) of all! Highlights include:
- Mrs White is the best Cluedo character, apparently
- Some people have been 'Northernised' to protect their identity
- What happened to Sally Gray?
- Doctor Who nerds are no good at trash talk
- Neil Armstrong is not part of the TV crew
- Jeremy Paxman never stumbles over his questions
- There's a disappointing amount of knowledge about the Androzani King and Queen from Tree Planet 475

Expansion 14 - Lords Of Waterdeep Scoundrels Of Skullport

We're back in Waterdeep, but this time we've got access to Skullport and the Undermountain. Things are a lot more corrupt this time around too! Highlights include:
- Mark leads the episode so... you know
- Welcome to Waffle Hour
- Do not be tempted by the big rewards - corruption sucks!
- The box perfection is now ruined
- Coming soon, 'Wood Vs Metal'
- I want to touch the wood

Episode 103 - Legendary Aliens

Aliens! Those gits literally get everywhere! Now, a lowly researcher and a radioman have to rescue some lost brothers and find the way out, all before the Xenomorph Titan rips them to pieces! Just another day in the corps! Highlights include:
- Trademark
- Look out for Christine the mercenary!
- Nobody wants a deep gash
- Mark threatens to play solo
- Where's Prometheus?
- Witness the most expensive door in history

Episode 102 - Joking Hazard

Patrick and Meriel join us IRL for a game of Joking Hazard. Who can create the most hilarious/disgusting comic strip? Highlights include:
- Mark ruins the intro
- There is no red man
- Mark again proves that he is fantastically ignorant of colours
- Pretty much any conversation can end with someone getting their ass out
- Meriel goes into prude mode

Kids On Bikes Chapter 17 - Bones Of The Past

Human bones have been discovered in the ruins of the Fun Palace! Is this just a coincidence, or have Eclipse been up to more shady business? Some sneaking is definitely on the cards... Also, have some pics of the original Survive: Escape From Atlantis that Mark found!

Kids On Bikes Chapter 16 - Bigfoot Revealed

Just when they thought they had a lead on the mysterious Eclipse, our heroes discover Pamela Weston has escaped! Can they find her before anything else goes wrong?

Episode 101 - Lords Of Waterdeep

We take on the roles of dodgy council members, each vying for control over the port town of Waterdeep, using the city's amenities to complete nefarious plots and gain influence. As you do. Highlights include:
- We get a strange visitor...
- Mark hashes his way through the intro
- The box is literally perfect
- Mark is an arcane mishap
- Mark is obsessed with the word 'meeple'
- There's just not enough fit people
- Coming soon: Priests Of Upper High

Expansion 13 - The Isle Of Cats Full Version

Once again, we're trying to rescue as many beautiful cats as we can - but this time, we're playing with all the components, not just the wussy lame version that Mark set up last time. Will it make a difference? Highlights include:
- All hail Polyhedra!
- Has anybody actually managed to get their cat to sit in the box lid?
- Get your fish money out
- But why are they called Lessons?
- The previous version is now officially called the Dumbo Version
- I mention that there are 3 kinds of card, then I only talk about 2 of them. Also, there's actually 4 types, so bit of a mess all round there.
- Mark is now called Benchmark, because if he understands a game, then anyone will
- It should be called 'Boat of Cats'

Kids On Bikes Chapter 15 - The New Mayor

Bluesburg gets a new mayor - but what does this mean for the town? Also there's still that pesky bigfoot knocking about - what's going on? 

Kids On Bikes Chapter 14 - The Hunt For Bigfoot

A month has passed since the tragic events of the Fun Palace, and Bluesburg finally seems to be getting back to normal. Oh, except for rumours of Bigfoot in the forest, that is!

Kids On Bikes Chapter 13 - Showdown At The Fun Palace

Our heroes have successfully sabotaged the Triumph pills before the big roll out - but will it be enough? Does Pamela Weston have one final trick up her sleeve? Find out now!

Episode 100 - Captain Sonar

It's Phil and Chris Vs Mark and Sarah in an underwater submarine chase. It's a real-time battle for the win! Highlights include:
- Mark proper screws up the intro
- Sarah gives a dramatic box reading
- I like my Captain Sonar like I like my women
- Matt Deepnew may or may not be from Cape Horn
- Karin Page sounds like a stinky bitch
- Sarah's performance = shit. She basically just drew a dog
- Chris doesn't know East and West
- Sorry, I've been charging the coffee machine
- It's missing Tit Island
- Sarah will NOT be telling her mum about this
- No matter how many times Mark plays something, it might as well be the first time
- We're judging it as a game, not a person
- Captain Sonar Family Edition... There's no submarines, you just kill the opposing family

Episode 99 - What Next?

Our favourite Professor has gone and got herself lost on a mysterious island full of aggressive koalas. Can we find her and bring her back in one piece? Highlights include:
- How would you escape from a 40ft rampaging koala?
- Mark reads like a child learning to read
- Shove Ha'penny, what??
- The idea is to not suck at the challenges
- Mark forgets FRAG. Again
- Are we too generous?
- It's chunky. You want to put it in your mouth

Episode 98 - Tiny Library

Riley joins us as we check out some of the Tiny Library's offerings! Highlights include:
- Why buy clothes when you can buy board games?
- Would you rather solve a puzzle for an hour, or just eat some chocolate?
- Don't bring a knife to a ghost fight
- Keep the workforce medicated - it's the way forward
- Coming soon, 'The Bloodputer'
- Is it a game, a tool, an activity or a conversation piece?
- I'm not the host of this podcast, I am Tilda Swinton portraying the host of this podcast
- If you don't bring your dice satchel everywhere, you're not a real gamer
- This is my dragon, she's called Barbara
- But how do you beat the farty man in the ass house?
- Could I defeat your mum armed with nothing but a role of sellotape?
- Once we ended the recording, we all entered a new stage of our lives, called Sunday Evening

Episode 97 - Survive Escape From Atlantis

Spencer from The Lighten Up Initiative joins us on yet another sinking island! Although there's no cooperation this time round - it's a shark eat meeple world out there... Highlights include:
- Maybe we should do a musical episode...
- You should never lend your board games to anybody!
- Munchkin is the gateway drug to hardcore gaming
- Mark forgot to evacuate the island entirely
- Whale smash!
- Single use plastics are the reason Atlantis is sinking in the first place
- Spencer breaks the FRAG by giving a .5
- We're all 8+
- 69!!!!
 

Episode 96 - Forbidden Island

We're stranded on a sinking island with Tim from 'Board Game Hot Takes' - Can we grab some treasure and make it to the helipad, or will be end up in the watery abyss? Highlights include:
- Mark still claims not to be a hater
- If Tim doesn't like something, you'll know about it
- The game comes in a nice tin, if you were wondering
- We were doing fine, until Tim jinxed it
- The Pilot easily has the best power
- We lost, but for a moment, we didn't really know how or why
- If you win, then it's because you're skilled. If you lose, the game obviously cheated

Expansion 12 - Fireball Island Spider Springs

We're back on Fireball Island, and this time we've set our sights on some extremely rare spider eggs. Unfortunately, the spiders themselves aren't too happy about this! Highlights include:
- All of Mark's hopes and dreams have been smashed
- It's really difficult to make the spiders actually spring anywhere
- We almost FGRA
- Just print a new rulebook yeah?

Promosode 2 - Oros

Year 4 kicks off with a promo playthrough of Oros with its creator, Brandt from Aesc Games! Learn about their debut project of tectonic tile smashing and demigod worshipping, live on Kickstarter now!

Special 3 - Year 3 Review

We've been going for three years! Here we have the traditional review of the past 12 months of Organised Fun! Highlights include:
- How's Derek Ring been doing?
- What have we learned from the polls this year?
- All the major developments in podcast history
- The prestigious FRAG awards
- Everyone (almost) tells us their gaming highlights
- What do we want from Year 4?

Promosode 1 - Earth Rising

Laurie and Rhi from Stop, Drop and Roll Games share their upcoming game Earth Rising with us! You'll learn all about the game and its creators, and definitely get something to add to your wishlist :D

Kids On Bikes Chapter 12 - Triumphant Sabotage

Our heroes have discovered a way to cancel the effects of the Triumph pill - now all they have to do is sneak in to the Fun Palace and tamper with the goods - but with Eclipse upping the ante, will they get away with it?

Episode 95 - Revelation

We're joined by Jane as we all go on a spiritual journey of self discovery and horrific truths! Who will be the first to fulfil their destiny? Highlights include:
- Mark killed Wesley Harper, and now everybody knows it
- This game was discovered Indiana Jones style
- Get the Thesaurus out!
- You'll learn all about Mark's haircut
- But what is the audience?
- My first love was cake
- Uranus brings awareness
- Turns out Jane is an awful person
- It's given us a brand new business venture
- Revelation made me quit my job and dump my boyfriend
- Were we supposed to have crystal balls?
- When you get to the end of the deck, that's when you drink the Kool-Aid

Kids On Bikes Chapter 11 - The Truth About Wesley Harper

The stakes are higher than ever in Bluesburg! Our heroes learn about some disturbing connections between the Fun Palace and the Temperance Society, as well as making an illuminating trip to the library and the chemistry club!

Episode 94 - Spire's End

A giant spire has burst out of the ground and everything's gone to shit. Looks like it's up to us to head inside and investigate! Highlights include:
- Nobody wants a gap in the flaps
- Mark is definitely not listening this week
- Black for armour, red for... blood?
- If you've had a head injury, don't go to sleep
- I may or may not be some sort of gardener

Episode 93 - Battle For Biternia

The pixelated land of Biternia is in the midst of a power struggle. Two teams vie for supremacy, their power tied to mystical gems - if one team's gem is destroyed, they're done for! Highlights include:
- The box promises something big
- Board or mat?
- What do you mean, you can't remember your orders?
- Cards, cards everywhere!
- You can fight each other, but why?
- What are you really?
- Did I read the rules wrong? I don't think so!

Episode 92 - Don't Get Got

Secret missions and sneaky tricks in a game of pranks and japes. Who got got? Highlights include:
- We played a game where Mark literally did nothing
- It's been so long since parties have been allowed, we can't remember reasons to have one
- I used our lack of bread to secure a victory
- En Francais, s'il vous plait
- This would be a great app

Kids On Bikes Chapter 10 - Change Of Fortune

After Ed's improbable display at the basketball game, our heroes investigate further, leading them to the depths of the Fun Palace, where dark deals are being sealed - but why? 

Episode 91 - Escape The Dark Castle

We've just broken out of our dank cell deep in the depths of the castle, hooray! The only thing standing in our way now is a maze of traps, monsters and general shittery! Will we escape the dark castle? Highlights include:
- We're on the radio!
- It's black and white. There's lots of black. And lots of white.
- Every game features a Rasputin
- You could play this in any of your typical gaming locations: the pub, the park, the... forest?

Episode 90 - Monopoly Deal

Who needs a board and some dice when you've got Monopoly Deal? We buy, we sell, we charge rent - but all in card form! Highlights include:
- Where is Mark's travel Monopoly?
- I love a good reference card
- Don't get caught without money...
- Mark cracks down on overfragging...
- Rich Uncle Pennybags is all over the shop

Episode 89 - Marvel Fluxx

I am Groot.

Episode 88 - Marvel Champions

Riley's back for more, as this time we have to use our card skills to save everyone from the Green Goblin's nefarious schemes! Will Spider-Man, Spider-Woman and Captain Marvel succeed? Highlights include:
- Anyone can be a woman
- There needs to be more dials in the world
- Mark's all about the damage
- We all get engaged multiple times to multiple people
- Before you know it, everyone's a goblin and you're screwed
- How exactly is Spider-Woman spidery?
- Generally, I was too exhausted to do anything
- Aunt May, PHWOAR!
- What noise would the font make?

Episode 87 - Codenames

It's MI6 vs the CIA in a race to contact all our secret agents. Trouble is, only one member on each team knows their true identities - sounds like poor governmental planning to me! Highlights include:
- Who had trains first?
- Clothes?
- Is it better to give or receive... clues?
- Mark thought it would be too 'codey'
- Just in case you didn't notice, Riley and Kimmy are American!

Episode 86 - Legendary 007

We've got to use a mix of 007 characters, gadgets and vehicles to defeat Scaramanga who's trying to fake his own death (Why?) Simple, obvs! Highlights include:
- Mark falls at the first hurdle of Bond knowledge
- It's all a bit golden
- Say hello to Agent Rainbow Ralphing Cat
- James Bond = Poker + Car Flipping
- There's a whole deck of Pussy

Episode 85 - Market Day

This week, we're farmers who seem to be lacking all the basic animals for our farms. Tch! Now it's a race to buy the relevant creatures from the market... on market day! Highlights include:
- We basically enabled a new Fluxx set
- Everyone knows Wingdings sounds like junk falling down the stairs
- Are beauty contests offensive now?
- Would you rather paint a mural, or pick up dog shit?
- Ladies can't own farms
- We should've double farmed it
- Can girl cows have horns?
- Where do Americans get their cattle from?
- Eggs aren't animals

Episode 84 - Jumanji Fluxx

The jungle of Jumanji is full of dangers, but will they stop us from achieving our goal? Highlights include:
- It's a creeperless affair
- Where's Nick Jonas?
- When did board games get so woke?
- Starring The Rock/Greg Wallace/Dara O'Briain
- The losing streak continues
- What do fonts sound like?

Episode 83 - Horror Trivial Pursuit

Who's the most knowledgeable on horror, or are we both intro-kill shitness? Highlights include:
- Mark can't say 'pursuit'
- Purple > Brown
- There's nothing like a game of Trivial Pursuit to highlight how shit you are
- John Moore!
- There's a strange opinion of what constitutes a comedy
- Purple = Pink
- And now for the impressions round!

Episode 82 - Arkham Horror Final Hour

A ritual to summon one of the great old ones has successfully been completed, spilling all sorts of eldritch shit out into the Miskatonic campus. But don't worry, there's still one final chance to reverse it! Highlights include:
- The odds against us are astronomical!
- It's Arkham, so you know what you're getting
- The box is a bit of a liar
- It's all about the priority cards
- It's a bit of a tactical nightmare
- This week, we FARG